Contact Us
How to Order
Author Bio
Sample Pages
Reviews & Comments
Almost Native, How to be a Coloradon : Table of Contents  

Almost Native How to Pass as a Coloradan

Table of Contents & Intro Excerpt
  • Introduction
  • NATIVE Origins
  • Where Ya From?
  • Why so Dizzy?
  • Where in Colorado?
  • Where in Denver?
  • Where in Tarnation?
  • NATIVE Drivers
  • How Many Are There?
  • Mavericks Wanted
  • History of Employment
  • Where to Live
  • Risky Business
  • Ethnicity
  • How to Dress–Clothing Optional
  • Being a Sports Fan–NOT Optional!
  • Quiz Time
  • Colorado Centerfold
  • Weather or Not
  • Ski Season or Snow Place Like Home
  • Other Seasons
  • Tiny Bubbles Make You Warm All Over
  • History 101
  • From Ancient Sites to Ghost Towns
  • The Local Cuisine
  • Don’t Worry, Be Healthy
  • There’s Coffee & then There’s Coffee
  • There’s Water & then There’s Water
  • Political Graph
  • Unheeded Laws
  • Current Colorful Denver Characters
  • Ignored but Not Forgotten
  • Colorful Colorado Critters
  • Close Encounters of the Natural Kind
  • Test Your Nativity
  • High-tale-ing It
  • Would You Believe?
  • NATIVE Celebrations
  • Wrapping It Up
  • Colorado Timeline
Maps & . . .
  • The Isle of Denver
  • Geographic Terms
  • River Map
  • Denver Maps
  • Colorado Centerfold
Introduction Excerpt

...for a Midwesterner like me, the attraction to Colorado, particularly Denver, was the slower-than-most-cities pace (not so true any more), the feeling I could walk around safely and the friendliness of the people. The tourist propaganda that promised 300 days of sunshine a year was also seductive. (The truth is any day with at least forty-five minutes of sunshine is included in that count.)...
There are many new things to learn about living in Colorado. It means layering your clothes ... It also means expanding your vocabulary with new terminology, such as chinook winds and verga, hogback and Continental Divide. And living high requires new accessories, such as sunblock, Carmex, sunglasses and a full water bottle.
Here then is the wonderful world of Colorado presented in what I hope is an amusing and enlightening, albeit tongue-in-cheek, way. This book will give you the insights necessary to pass as a genuine NATIVE. Whether you are contemplating a move, know someone who lives here, are a new transplant, or, as a NATIVE, you just want to have a chuckle at the expense of these tenderfoots, I hope you will enjoy this informative introduction to the not-so-wild West...

»read more excerpts...